7 Essential Tips for Settling Conflicts

7 Essential Tips for Settling Conflicts

Misunderstandings are unavoidable and are to be expected from time to time, no matter how much you try to make everything go smooth.

Sometimes you will be lucky to not be part of the conflict, but, at times you’ll either be right in the middle of it or you will just need to or want to intervene to restore balance and harmony by settling a certain conflict.

Here are 7 essential tips for settling conflicts, whenever they arise.

1. First of All, Slow Down

Most of us repeat unhelpful behaviors in conflicts because we are unaware of what we are doing. Plan what you want to say to avoid saying something that will escalate a conflict.

2. Be Clear in Regards to Your Intentions 

Only begin a conversation about a conflict in order to learn something new, express your views and feelings, or to problem-solve. If your most important goal is to win, blame or change the other party, the conflict will probably escalate, no matter what skills you possess.

3. Listen

If others feel listened to they are more likely to try to understand you.

4. Express Strong Feelings

Use “I-statements” to express what you’re feeling. Be sure to state a feeling (as opposed to a judging statement) after saying “I feel”.

5. Do Not Blame

The key is to be completely honest without blaming the other.

6. Take Responsibility

Be willing to let go of your interpretation—believing that our beliefs and conclusions about others are “the truth” creates a lot of conflicts.

7. Find a Middle Way

This pretty much speaks for itself, find common ground so you're both happy with the outcome.